I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Found the puke drawer
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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