I just pynch a tree in the face
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
