Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
