if i can run in heels then i can drive
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
