Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
