HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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