My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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