bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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