so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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