You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
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Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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