I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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