it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
