i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize