My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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