Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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