i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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