Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
My pussy is not your playground.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
