Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
