it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
