I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
