Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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