I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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