whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
