the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
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