Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
