I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
