He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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