It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
