I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
