I'm really into asian looking animals
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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