Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
