They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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