I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
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You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
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Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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