You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You need a sexual gate keeper
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
