No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
