And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
