I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
