I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
