proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
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I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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