Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
