I haven't been this sober since birth.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
