he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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