i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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