ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
