I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
