Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
