So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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