Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize