you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
