we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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