i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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