The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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