a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
