im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
