Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
you made out with another girl for some wings
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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