Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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