I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
