Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
