My friends, they love my intelligence
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize