This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We have so much sex to catch up on
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
