I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
